it’s 10 o’clock

    i gotta clean up the internet

i used to fear getting old but i’m not afraid of that anymore because there’s something much worse looming and that’s being aware of the aging process. i can feel my brain hardening and my ability to memorize declining. i am all too aware that there are paths retread over and over in my head that are so permanent that to rewrite them will be such a great effort; it may destroy me in the process. apathy is a small beast with big friends, is an iceberg and i see the 10% rubbing against my hull, but do I have wings?

a sound like the sounds people make who are in the other room. you understand that they breathe and watch television, or read books. the sound of the page turn or the passing 30 second spot, like the couch when they shift weight or when they exhale too deeply. my cell phone is alive and it talks to the speakers, exchanging feedback between channels my senses do not perceive. this sounds stupid. bah!